Disclaimers
by Measured Kindness
Summary: Ruby's getting a little too adventurous. Weiss was having none of it.


**You Have Been Warned**

* * *

"Chocolate syrup."

Weiss blinked blankly, regarding her partner with a quirk of her eyebrow. "Pardon?"

"Cho. Co. Late. Sy. Rup!" Ruby enunciated, wiggling her eyebrows. "You know you want to."

 _Oh._

"Chocolate Syrup." Weiss confirmed, blushing lightly, finally catching Ruby's train of thought. "Right."

"I know." Ruby grinned. "Chocolate syrups are the best out there! Wouldn't you agree?"

"No." Weiss deadpanned. "Despite the many qualities you apparently see in that brown goop, using it in bed would be extremely messy."

"Everything's messy in bed Weiss!" Ruby reasoned flippantly, smiling with a decisive nod of her head. "We're gonna do it."

"Fine. Do what you want." Weiss sighed. "I already warned you."

"Mhm, thanks. Wait here." Ruby gave her a chaste kiss before scrambling off the bed. "I'm gonna get the syrup."

 _ **xxxx**_

"Ow, Weiss! A little more gentleness wouldn't kill you." Ruby whined, squirming and writhing in place.

"Serves you right!" Weiss said vindictively. "Now hold still and let me get this out of your—"

"How did the syrup even get there?" Ruby wailed, flinching away from Weiss. "There's literally syrup on every follicle of my body! Look, there's even chocolate syrup on my—"

Weiss threw the shower head and soap at Ruby's face. "You can remove that by yourself!" She declared, marching out of the bathroom red-faced.

Through the faint sound of the shower, she could hear Ruby struggling. Then there's a faint thud, followed by Ruby obnoxiously whining her name outloud.

"Still think Chocolate syrup is a good idea?" Weiss snickered, not even the least bit sympathetic because, well, she did warn Ruby about the mess.

"Shut up." Ruby growled through the bathroom door.

 _ **xxx**_

"So we can try it now?" Ruby asked suddenly, climbing up on Weiss' body.

"Ugh, try what?" Weiss asked, gritting her teeth.

"Doing it in the shower." Ruby answered, smiling down at Weiss as she propped herself up by her elbows, resting her chin above the heiress' modest chest.

 _Of all the times to ask, why the hell does it have to be now?_ Weiss closed her eyes tight, torn between weeping and stabbing Ruby with Myrtenaster. She gave up on deciding and settled for something else entirely.

"Because it's very impractical." Weiss said dismissively, running her hand through Ruby's hair. "Now back to the task at hand." She whispered lowly, pushing Ruby's messy mop of hair down south where she's needed.

Ruby took her hand on hers and kiss it, but otherwise stood her ground. "Come on, it'll be totally steamy." She grinned, the dopey kind Ruby always has when she thinks she's being coy.

"That's what she says." Weiss grumbled, flopping her head down the pillow. "You think it's going to be hot and steamy but the truth is that the shower's only going to reach one of us and the other one will basically be cold. The air inside is stuffy, it's going to be uncomfortably humid. The tub's hard and slippery so we'll have to be careful, and then in the end we will just wind up tangled underneath the shower curtain."

"Stop being such a wet blanket, Weissy!" Pouted Ruby, tugging her partner off the bed and into the bathroom. "Let me show you how steamy it can be."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Weiss sighed, begrudgingly following Ruby inside.

 _ **xxxx**_

There was a thud, the sound of curtains ripping and a whimper before Weiss could even turn around from retrieving the soap they'd dropped on the tiled bathroom floor. She found herself face to face with Ruby's foot, dangling from the edges of the bathtub.

Weiss giggled involuntarily, watching as her partner's surprised face morph into a mildly intimidating scowl. She opened her mouth to say her comments but Ruby held up her curtain-covered hand.

"Not a word, Weiss." Ruby snapped.

"But—"

Ruby stood up. "Not. A. Word."

Weiss nodded, but she struggled hard to stop herself from laughing outright.

 _ **xxxx**_

"Okay, what if we—"

"Stop." Weiss said preemptively, holding out her hand. "Ruby, I applaud your sense of adventure, I really do. But have you ever thought that we have enough adventure already?"

"Aw, don't be a poopy pants Weiss!" Ruby said, making a face.

"I'm not being a poo—a bore." Weiss grimaced. "We fight the creatures of Grimm almost every day now."

"Yeah, but it's not adventurous enough, I tell ya." Ruby grinned.

"I'm drawing a firm line between the lives we lead being hunters and our bedroom activities."

"Weiss..." Ruby began, but then stopped to consider something about what Weiss said. The heiress would've been happy that she got through Ruby's stubborn head, but after a moment, her partner perked up and Weiss didn't like how big Ruby's grin had gotten. Not one bit.

"Do you want to?"

Weiss rubbed her temple, confused. "Do I want to _what?"_

"Do it out in the field?"

"What?" Weiss asked, scandalized. "We will not have sex while there's a decaying Grimm next to us!"

Ruby pouted. "Then what's the point of this conversation?" She mourned, nuzzling against Weiss' neck.

"I am warning you, Ruby Rose." Weiss said, hugging her close. "Don't ever think I didn't."

 _ **xxxx**_

"This." _Whack!_ " Is the most boring hunt ever!"

"We just fought two deathstalkers not even five minutes ago and there's currently a pack of Beowolves surrounding us yet you're still whining about being bored?" Weiss shrieked, swinging Myrtenaster hard against a Beowolf's maw, slamming it to the ground.

The red-clad huntress gave Weiss a look of sheer unamusement.

"Oh please." Ruby huffed, shrugging as she effortlessly slice through three Grimm all at once. "We can defeat these guys with our eyes closed!"

Before Weiss could yell out her retort, Ruby fired six high-calliber, dust-augmented bullets successively, hitting each of the remaining grimms square in their faces. All of this while maintaining eye contact with her partner for nothing else than to prove a point. Weiss gritted her teeth, marching away from her.

Ruby grinned, self-satisfied, collapsing Cresent Rose into her carry-form and was about to point out all the slowly fading figures around them when Weiss very deliberately bent over a corpse of one of the deathstalkers they'd killed a little while ago.

Normally, Weiss merely looks down at the corpses of the Grimm when she had to inspect it for ageing. This was bending at the waist, so that Ruby has a full uninterupted view of Weiss' ass.

Ruby stopped breathing entirely. How was she supposed to inhale when… _that?_

"You were saying?" prompted Weiss.

Apparently, Weiss was not the least bit aware that she was inadvertently rendering her partner unable to speak any form of coherent thought. Probably because Weiss wasn't aware how distracting her butt was. Really, Weiss should know better.

Ruby gathered what was left of her shattered thoughts and said, "We can uh—"

Weiss straightened and turned to Ruby, licking her lips. In a way that could only be deemed obscene. Ruby fell silent, the better to track the path of Weiss' tongue.

"Ruby?" drawled Weiss, sauntering closer. Ruby gurgled a reply, taking a step back, only to be stopped by a treacherous tree behind her. Weiss pursed her lips and then smiled innocently. "Why don't you age this grimm?" She whispered, lips dangerously close to the shell of Ruby's ear.

Ruby cleared her throat and turned away from Weiss, because if she can't see her, Weiss can't distract her.

"A-As far as I can see, uh, right there," Ruby began again, pointing towards one of the creatures surrounding them.

Weiss leaned right over her, breath hot behind her ear. "Right there?" she murmured, her voice deep in a way that made Ruby think immediately of sex. "What is that you're meant to be looking for again?" She was Standing behind her now. Ruby noticed that Weiss was still a little shorter than her in heels, which apparently made her partner think it's okay to blow onto Ruby's earlobe.

Ruby shook her head a little bit to try to shake off the effect of that and took a step away from her partner. Weiss chuckled "As I was saying—"

"Ruby, I think you don't have quite the angle you need there," Weiss told her, laying a hand on her arms.

Ruby felt the heat of it through the several layers she's wearing like a brand. She's powerless to resist as Weiss tugged her closer. The heiress' hands skim down Ruby's sides, resting lightly on her hips, positioning her with careful, gentle nudges so that she's standing in front of Weiss, both of them ostensibly facing the deathstalker's smoking corpse.

Except that Ruby's thoughts weren't anywhere near the deathstalker's smoking corpse.

Weiss pressed lightly up against her and said, "There you go, that's the angle you want, right there, just like that, hmm?"

Ruby closed her eyes and said, her voice sounding strangled, "Weiss, I..." She swallowed thickly. "I'm going to need a moment."

"With the Grimm's body?" asked Weiss. And it was devastatingly unfair how Weiss talking about a dead grimm still sounded sexy. "Take all the time you need." Weiss took a step back.

"Dont." Growled Ruby, facing Weiss who was now leaning against a tree. "Weiss."

The white-haired girl just raised her eyebrow at her as Ruby grabbed her hands and placed it on her shoulders.

"I believe this isn't a part of the ageing method." Weiss pointed out innocently as Ruby hitched the smaller girl up against the massive tree.

"I thought you said you didn't want to it right next to a decaying grimm," gaspeda Ruby, making short work of Weiss' skirt, reaching towards her underwear.

"I don't—you're the one—taking me—"

Ruby pressed a particularly sensitive spot and Weiss abruptly cut her ragged reply off. And then, Ruby paused, looking down at the heiress through her eyelashes. "This could get messy," she whispered against Weiss flushed skin.

"Yes. I'm okay with that," panted Weiss.

"Well Miss Schnee," Ruby grinned. "You have been warned."

* * *

 **A/** **N** : A wild story appeared! Haha :D Just warming up before updating my long story. Any feedbacls? Hello btw.


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